How to Show Up as a Leader when Something Terrible is Happening

A 1 min read.

Watching the news in recent days has been incredibly difficult. The reports of families being tragically affected and brutal acts like beheadings are something I find it challenging to come to terms with emotionally. In the past, I would often choose to numb my emotions or simply switch off the news.

However, this morning, I took a different approach. I dedicated 10 minutes to a peaceful meditation session with my Peloton community, focusing on sending love and peace to the world. 

I've heard that today is supposedly a global day marked by hate, but I'm unsure of how to react or prepare for it emotionally. What I'm experiencing today is a mix of fear and a strong desire to contribute something positive to the world, even if it feels somewhat self-indulgent.

This situation reminds me of my experiences leading teams during the pandemic. At times, I felt utterly helpless, yet I had to show up every day to support others. Today, I still have that desire to support and lead, but I also realize that as a leader, I don't have to possess all the answers, and that's perfectly okay.

 It's essential during time like these that we grant ourselves some grace during moments like these and take the time to process our own emotions as well as the emotions our teams may be sharing with us.

I opened my inbox today to find a generous gift to 2 books sent to me by a dear friend (thanks Adam). This is what humanity is all about, serving others. I would challenge everyone reading this to spread love today (and everyday) and perform a random act of kindness. 

Peace and love to everyone who is suffering during this challenging time in our world. 

Unlocking the Secret to Introverted Success: What Deion Sanders Can Teach Us

A 2 min read.

Tyler and I have never really been college football fans but this year has been a little different. The buzz surrounding Deion Sanders and his role with the CU Buffs this season is undeniable.

What's particularly intriguing is the revelation that Deion, a renowned figure in the world of sports, is actually an introvert. He's managed to transform himself from a quiet country boy into the larger-than-life persona we know as "Prime," and this journey offers valuable insights for introverts like us.

From a quiet country boy to "Prime," Deion Sanders crafted an alter ego that propelled him onto the grandest stages imaginable. It's intriguing to see how he, someone who prefers solitude and despises crowds, willingly steps into the spotlight each week, basking in the cheers of tens of thousands of fans, with every move under intense scrutiny throughout his career.

Now, you might wonder how this connects to the life of an introvert in a different domain, like the restaurant business. Well, the truth is, it can be incredibly demanding. In the hospitality industry, you're expected to be "on" all the time, attending to customers, managing staff, and ensuring everything runs smoothly. For those of us that are introverts, this can be very draining.

Let’s start a conversation about how to find work-life balance in the hospitality industry.

I'm also an introvert, and throughout my hospitality career, I've had to acquire the skill of tapping into my extroverted side when engaging with tables, conducting staff meetings, or hosting private events. Making small talk with strangers has consistently been a source of discomfort and exhaustion for me. However, I've come to realize that if I redirect my focus towards connecting with the person right in front of me, rather than dwelling on how draining it can be, I often leave those conversations feeling more invigorated. It's amusing to consider that my extroverted persona could be seen as an alter ego, although I've never really thought of it that way.

After my shifts, I found it beneficial to take 20-30 minutes to unwind and recharge. This could involve sitting quietly in my car on the drive home, requesting 20 minutes of solitude from Tyler upon arriving home for a shower and some personal time, or even taking a brief 20-minute nap. These activities helped me replenish my energy, allowing me to be more attentive to Tyler, friends, and family after work and on my days off.

Discover ways to protect your energy by connecting with me

As an introvert, it's crucial to prioritize self-care and recharging. Just as you expend energy in social interactions and demanding roles, you must also invest time in replenishing your inner reserves. Deon Sanders' ability to navigate the world of sports while staying true to his introverted nature reminds us that we, too, can find our balance and thrive in our chosen fields by understanding our needs and making adjustments when necessary.

P.S.

Whenever you are ready, here are several additional ways I provide daily support to hospitality leaders.

• If you are a restaurant owner looking for a strategic partner to scale your business, retain and develop your managers, let's connect. Email me at christinlmarvin@gmail.com or you can even text me at 719-494-6074.

(Rest assured, I won't attempt to sell you anything.)

• If you are a hospitality leader looking to level up and position yourself for career advancement without sacrificing work-life balance, let’s start a conversation. Email me at christinlmarvin@gmail.com

• Each week, I provide hospitality leaders with valuable tools and resources to shift from surviving to thriving by embracing mental fitness. Subscribe to my newsletter below to receive these helpful tips directly in your inbox.

How to Boost Your Bottom Line

A 2 min read.

My client encountered a challenging situation involving an employee who consistently neglected customer service in favor of side work tasks. Instead of assisting guests when lines formed, this employee would hurriedly attend to stocking duties. 

This behavior had a detrimental impact, resulting in longer wait times, disgruntled guests, and an overburdened team forced to compensate for their colleague's shortcomings. Despite the employee's relatively short tenure with the company, my client faced a crucial decision: whether to invest in their improvement or terminate their employment. 

The avoider mindset had really settled in with my client, making her put off a crucial talk. But as tensions kept rising within the team, trust was slipping away, and it was time for some action. After tossing around a few ideas, including the eye-opening fact that employee turnover was costing around $4,000 each, she decided to give the employee a chance to step up.

Together, we hashed out a plan to get her ready for the conversation. The goal was to approach it with a mix of understanding and firmness, showing empathy while making the company's expectations crystal clear.

Let’s connect about the crucial conversation have you been putting off that is negativity impacting your business.

Within each of us resides a character known as the "Avoider," shaped by our childhood experiences, be they happy or challenging. In a blissful upbringing, we may not have developed the resilience to handle difficult emotions. Conversely, in a high-conflict childhood, the Avoider may have emerged as a peacemaker, learning to avoid adding further negativity or tension to existing family disputes.

The Avoider Saboteur has a tendency to excessively focus on the positive and shies away from challenging conversations, unpleasant tasks, and conflicts.

In our daily lives, the Avoider manifests in the following ways:

1. Avoids conflict and reluctantly agrees to things they don't truly desire.

2. Minimizes the significance of genuine problems and tries to divert attention elsewhere.

3. Struggles to decline requests or say no.

4. Seeks solace in familiar routines and habits.

The Avoider's thoughts and emotions typically revolve around these notions:

1. Belief that avoiding the issue will somehow resolve it on its own.

2. Fear that engaging in conflict might jeopardize important relationships.

3. Increasing anxiety due to the accumulation of unresolved matters.

The impact of the Avoider on oneself and others includes:

1. Inhibiting the opportunity to address and transform conflicts into valuable lessons.

2. Allowing unresolved issues to persist and worsen over time.

3. Maintaining superficial relationships with family and colleagues through conflict avoidance.

4. Eroding trust among others, as they become uncertain about the withholding of negative information.

When you are ready to face your avoider head on, I can help.

Here are 3 ways you can manage your Avoider:

Self-Awareness

Start by recognizing when your avoider saboteur is active. Pay attention to the situations, emotions, and thoughts that trigger avoidance behaviors. Self-awareness is the first step toward managing any saboteur.

Identify Underlying Fears

The avoider saboteur often stems from underlying fears, such as fear of failure, rejection, or criticism. Try to pinpoint the specific fears that drive your avoidance tendencies. Understanding the root cause can help you address them more effectively.

Challenge Negative Self-Talk

Avoider saboteurs often feed on negative self-talk and self-doubt. Whenever you catch yourself thinking or saying things like, "I can't do this" or "I'm not good enough," challenge those thoughts with evidence to the contrary. Replace them with positive affirmations.

Remember that managing your avoider saboteur is an ongoing process, and it's okay to have setbacks. Be patient with yourself and stay committed to your personal growth and development. Over time, you can learn to manage and minimize the influence of your avoider saboteur and achieve your goals more effectively.

Start recognizing and managing your Avoider by connecting with me, here.

P.S.

Whenever you are ready, here are several additional ways I provide daily support to hospitality leaders.

• If you are a restaurant owner looking for a strategic partner to scale your business, retain and develop your managers, let's connect. Email me at christinlmarvin@gmail.com or you can even text me at 719-494-6074.

(Rest assured, I won't attempt to sell you anything.)

• If you are a hospitality leader looking to level up and position yourself for career advancement without sacrificing work-life balance, let’s start a conversation. Email me at christinlmarvin@gmail.com

• Each week, I provide hospitality leaders with valuable tools and resources to shift from surviving to thriving by embracing mental fitness. Subscribe to my newsletter below to receive these helpful tips directly in your inbox.

How the High-Stress Reality of the Restaurant Business Impacts Your Mental and Physical Health

A 3 min read.

The restaurant business is known for its fast-paced and demanding environment. While it can be exhilarating and rewarding, it's no secret that it comes with its fair share of stressors. The constant hustle, long hours, and high-pressure situations can take a toll on your mental and physical well-being.

In this blog, we'll explore how stress impacts individuals working in the restaurant industry and discuss three easy ways to relieve stress.

(When you are ready to learn how to manage your negative thoughts that cause all of your stress, let’s connect).

The Impact of Stress on Mental Health

Anxiety and Depression

Working in a restaurant often means dealing with a fast-paced and demanding environment. The pressure to deliver impeccable service, handle difficult customers, and manage multiple tasks simultaneously can lead to anxiety and depression. Long hours and late nights can disrupt your sleep patterns, which further exacerbates these mental health issues.

Burnout

Restaurant workers are no strangers to burnout. The physical and emotional demands of the job can leave you feeling drained and exhausted. Burnout can manifest as a lack of motivation, decreased job satisfaction, and a feeling of detachment from your work.

Substance Abuse

The restaurant industry has a reputation for a culture of late-night shifts and socializing after work. This culture can lead to an increased risk of substance abuse, as individuals may turn to alcohol or drugs as a way to cope with the stress and pressure of the job.

Reach out for more of an indepth conversation on how to prevent burnout, anxiety and depression.

(If you are looking for great leaders to add to your team and tired of spending time and energy searching, Willow Tree Recruiting can connect you with the leaders you need).

The Impact of Stress on Physical Health

Poor Diet

Long shifts and irregular meal times can lead to poor dietary choices. Fast food and unhealthy snacks become convenient options when you're pressed for time. Over time, this can contribute to weight gain and other health problems like high blood pressure and diabetes.

Sleep Problems

Stress can disrupt your sleep patterns, leading to insomnia or poor-quality sleep. A lack of restorative sleep can weaken your immune system, increase your risk of chronic diseases, and contribute to mood disturbances.

Physical Ailments

The physical demands of restaurant work can also lead to a range of physical ailments, including back pain, joint problems, and muscle strains. The constant standing and repetitive movements can take a toll on your body, especially if you don't have time for proper self-care.

Three Easy Ways to Relieve Stress

Mindfulness and Meditation

Practice mindfulness and meditation techniques to help you manage stress. Taking a few minutes each day to focus on your breath and clear your mind can reduce anxiety and improve your overall mental well-being. There are many apps and online resources available to guide you through meditation exercises.

Exercise Regularly

Physical activity is an excellent stress reliever. Even a short walk during your break or a quick workout session can help release endorphins, which are natural mood boosters. Regular exercise can also improve your sleep quality and overall physical health.

Seek Support

Don't be afraid to seek support from friends, family, or a therapist. Talking about your stressors with someone you trust can be incredibly cathartic. If your stress is affecting your mental health significantly, consider reaching out to a mental health professional who can provide guidance and coping strategies.

Working in the restaurant business can be highly rewarding, but it also comes with significant stressors that can impact both your mental and physical health. It's essential to recognize the signs of stress and take proactive steps to manage it. By practicing mindfulness, exercising regularly, and seeking support when needed, you can reduce the negative effects of stress and enjoy a healthier, more fulfilling life in the restaurant industry. Your well-being is worth prioritizing, and these simple strategies can make a big difference in how you cope with the demands of your job.

Start recognizing and managing stress by connecting with me, here.

P.S.

Whenever you are ready, here are several additional ways I provide daily support to hospitality leaders.

• If you are a restaurant owner looking for a strategic partner to scale your business, retain and develop your managers, let's connect. Email me at christinlmarvin@gmail.com or you can even text me at 719-494-6074.

(Rest assured, I won't attempt to sell you anything.)

• If you are a hospitality leader looking to level up and position yourself for career advancement without sacrificing work-life balance, let’s start a conversation. Email me at christinlmarvin@gmail.com

• Each week, I provide hospitality leaders with valuable tools and resources to shift from surviving to thriving by embracing mental fitness. Subscribe to my newsletter below to receive these helpful tips directly in your inbox.